Wedding Invitation Etiquette

This week I met with Grainne Nolan from London's top stationery company, The Wren Press (www.wrenpress.com; 020 7351 5887) She's the in-house wedding consultant, and knows everything there is to know about invitations and etiquette. Since it's so important to get it right, I asked her for answers to the common and more obscure questions you've been sending my way. Take a look at the top tips below and send out your invitations with confidence.

How should the invitations be worded if the brides' parents are divorced, but nevertheless are co-hosting the wedding?
Mr. Christopher Wren and Mrs. Swift request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jennifer to Mr. Robin Bird at the Church of St. Francis, Chelsea on Saturday, 1st May 2010 at 3 o' clock and afterwards at Birdcage Walk, SW1

How should the invitations be worded if the bride's parents have re-married (non-amicable parting-of-ways)?
There are 2 options:
1. With their families Mr Robin Bird and Miss Jennifer Wren request the pleasure of your company at their marriage.
2. Mr Robin Bird and Miss Jennifer Wren request the pleasure of your company at their marriage

Should the bride's parents send an invite to the groom's parents?
Yes. The bride's parents would also send an invitation to themselves.

At what age do the children of a family receive a personal invitation?
This is personal preference.

Should evening invitations be sent out at the same time as the wedding invitations?
Yes.

What should we do if we want to invite some guests to the reception, but not the ceremony?
A note should be placed inside the envelope with the invitations giving a reason, for example owing to the small size of the Church of St. Francis...

If you have sent a 'save the date' card and been informed that the guests can't make the wedding, do you still send them an invite?
Yes.

Should reply cards be supplied with a stamped address envelope?
It is good practice, but this is entirely up to you.

If you have not received an RSVP by the set date, how long do you leave it before following up?
This is personal preference, but we would say a week after the RSVP date.

How far in advance do you send 'save the date' cards and wedding invitations?
'Save the date' cards: 6-8 months in advance. Wedding invitations: 10-12 weeks in advance.

Information that should be included on the invitation:
State if invitation extends to the ceremony, reception or evening party
Childrens' names should be included if invited
The name of the person the recipient should to reply to
RSVP address
Telephone number
Dress code (leave off if no dress code)
Address the envelope to the female on the invitation (if applicable)

Aside from the 'save the date' cards, invitation and RSVP cards, is there any other stationery items you need to think about?
Yes, it's a good idea to order the following stationery items at the same time as the obvious items: Order of Service, Menu, Place Names, Thank You cards.

Since every bride and groom's situation is unique, you might have a question about the wording of your invitations or an etiquette query that hasn't been covered above. If that's the case, post a reply...I'd love to hear from you.