The Classic Bridal Beauty Mistakes

Eight out of ten times, when I look at a photo of a bride on her wedding day she looks stunning. Her hair is sleek and sophisticated, her make-up is glamorous and polished, and her skin glows from monthly facials. Secretly I'd like to think that I'm solely responsible for such prettiness through my unbelievably brilliant, practical and inspiring beauty pages, but the truth is you just need some common sense and naturally good taste.
What does concern me are the two out of ten brides who slip through the net, who don't choose the elegant make-up and natural hair. Instead, they opt for those classic bridal beauty clichés favoured by the WAGs and Kerry Katonas of this world (read: naff, cheap and hideous). So if you really want to look gorgeous on your wedding day, all you need to do is avoid them. Here they are: my top ten big-day bridal beauty no-nos.

Pineapple hair
I'm talking twirly, curly, coiled and boiled. Let's avoid sky-high, piled-up hair, waxy ringlets, helmet-style, slicked-over fringes stuck to foreheads and towers of backcombing covered with solid-set spiralled strands. Instead, keep it soft, natural, smooth and well conditioned, with one gorgeous accessory to upgrade your look. Sounds too simple? That's the secret.

Tippex tips
I'm fully prepared for legions of French manicure fans to hunt me down and scratch my eyes out with their comedy talons, but I'm sorry, they're just gross. Nothing, NOTHING, is more unattractive than a stubby digit with a centimetre of thick, white, square nail. It's so tacky, so unnatural, so Katona. The only exception to my rule is if you have beautiful svelte hands and keep the nail clean and well filed with a cream tip under 2mm long. Otherwise, forget it.

Mega-watt fake tannage
I'm all for a honeyed hint of faux bronze if it comes from a St Tropez spraying pro. However a deep, rusted fake tan with dirty edges and clumsy patches is unforgivable. Just picture yourself standing next to your pale husband and pale guests in your wedding photos. Once again, it's so absurdly unnatural - who honestly thinks that looks sexy?

Hair extensions
There is nothing remotely chic or stylish about sticking pieces of fake hair onto your own to create instantly long hair. Just the other day I found myself begging a bride-to-be with ear-length hair not to 'go long' for her wedding day. Imagine what her groom would think if he saw her trotting down the aisle looking like an entirely different person to the girl he kissed goodbye to the day before. I do think it's fine to have good quality, professionally applied extensions to bulk up your own hairstyle, especially if you have fine hair and need a little extra volume for an updo or half-updo.

Lip liner
Lip liner is great for filling in the lips before you apply your lipstick as a base to make it last longer. It's not great when you paint a big brown circle round your mouth then fill it with lipgloss. Some girls think this makes their lips look bigger. The truth is it looks like you've had an accident with a chocolate bar.

Lustre is lovely. Finely milled shimmer... pearlescent highlighter... all gorgeous. Sparkle and glitter aren't. It just shouldn't be anywhere: not your décolleté, not your arms, not your hair, not your cheeks. You're not going to a fancy dress party, right?

Tadpole eyebrows
This term refers to over plucked eyebrows that begin fat and round then immediately whip into a skinny tail. Mime artists and clowns wear them. If you've accidentally been the victim of the tadpole, do try to let them grow out before the wedding and have them reshaped by a professional threader.

Blusher ticks
Manically drawing back and forth with a blusher brush like a 3yr old with a crayon will not make cheekbones look shapelier. Go gently, sweeping with light touch and if you do want to sculpt, try the '3' trick: with a light bronzer, take the brush from the temple down to the hollow of the cheek then back down the jawline.

What's your beauty pet hate? Tell us in the comment box below!