Never will I let a superhot beauty trend be too cool for bridal school and this month's obsession with Chanel's new minty-green Jade nails is no exception.
You've undoubtedly heard about this illustrious hue - it's been in the papers, flashed all over Fashion Week and blogged about incessantly, plus it has even graced my own little paws. It's the prettiest shade of milky pale pastel polish I've ever seen, but it's GREEN for goodness sake. It makes no sense. It's a beauty oxymoron: a beauxymoron.
I shan't advise it for your actual wedding day - but I will recommend it for hen nights and engagement parties, because right now it's the chicest thing on the planet and I promise it will suit everyone.
There's only one teeny little problem. It's rather hard to get hold of you see.
It goes on sale in Chanel boutiques in mid-October - yet there's already a waiting list of 400 and counting. Every celebrity agent in town has been begging for this tiny pot of instant kudos but to no avail: only a limited number of bottles are floating around London with selected manicurists commissioned by Chanel to paint VIP nails. It's bonkers: just the other day on a lunch outing my mitts were quite literally grabbed by a complete stranger. "Where did you get Chanel Jade?" she squealed. I was impressed (she knew the name), scared (will she pulls my fingers off?), flattered (yes I am the most stylish gal in this here salad bar) and horrified (she's touching my hands!) all at the same time. It was most strange.
It's a sad love story, in the end. This instantly recognisable, magnificent lacquer has become one of the most intensely adulated micro-trends in beauty history, but alas, chances are you'll never have it grace your tips. And after a day of DIY this weekend, I won't ever again.