It is a truth universally acknowledged that not all bodies are created equal. Sure, they all have the same function and roughly do the same things, but they most certainly aren't all fit for a sexy, figure-hugging fishtail wedding gown. Until now.
We've discovered Hypoxi - an exercise regime loved by the likes of Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini (both beauties own their own Hypoxi bikes: it's the secret behind their thin pins and pert derrières!) and can confirm it works.
The 'body-shaping method' targets stubborn fat deposits in your body and gets rid. It's basically an exercise bike - either a standing or a recumbent bike (we hear Cheryl has the latter at home) - which you cycle on for half an hour.
But fret not, this isn't one of those scary cycle classes that will make you cry; it is meant to be a gentle peddling, done inside this pod-like contraption with their UPS vacuum technology working its magic as you peddle along.
It sounds scary, but it really isn't. The vacuuming encourages blood flow to those troublesome areas (hello, stomach, hips and thighs!) and encourages that natural fat burning. You won't even break a sweat.
Sounds too good to be true? We thought so too, but amazingly, it was all true. After only six sessions we can report 13cm loss in total - including stomach, waist, bottom and thighs.
Coupled with the HTC treatment (a wetsuit that pumps air in and out to mimic the age-old treatments of cupping), any cellulite will be smoothed out and your skin look taut and fresh. All of a sudden those silky satin column gowns don't feel so threatening.
You may wonder at this point why Hypoxi isn't the biggest weight loss sensation around, seeing as it delivers such amazing results - and the real answer: the cost. Twelve sessions will set you back aproximately £496. You also have to adopt a healthier diet, naturally.
But if you want results fast, then it really is your best shot. Try Hypoxi at Knightsbridge with Dajana, she previously ran Harrods' Hypoxi regimes and is extremeley knowledgable on everything Hypoxi.
Getting your wed-bod just got a lot easier - albeit slightly more expensive - and infinitely more effective.