Don't judge me: I'm writing this blog post to avoid writing our wedding guest list. What started as a fun Sunday activity ended in the realisation that we were about to offend some of our most loved friends. So we've abandoned it entirely.
Our preferred wedding venue - my parent's house - has given number restraints a whole new meaning. There are no extra chairs or tables, no cramped corners or little space where we can squeeze a few more guests in. There is simply no getting away from the fact that the space will only hold 60 people.
After you take in my ridiculous number of bridesmaids (13) and add their partners, we're at 26. Then there's the ushers, 5, plus their partners, which bring us to 10. Add to that immediate family members, 10, and we are already at 46 guests. That's leaves only 13 spaces left on the list! I know I've said before that 13 is my lucky number and by and large it is, but right now it certainly doesn't feel that way...
In a bid to settle the matter Andrew and I discuss some ground rules.
Firstly, we must both have met the guest. Sounds obvious, but some of my best friends live abroad and Andrew and I have only been together a year, so this rule doesn't really make sense (ie. suit me) - so we'll scrub that!
Next: Ex-partners. Easy; not invited. Fairly obvious, but my ex happens to be one my best friends, too. A controversial topic, so might be easier to ignore…
And what about plus ones? Do we enforce a 'no ring, no bring' rule? I appreciate it is an unpopular stance, but it would be fairly helpful if just to keep the numbers down.
Then there are the parents of our friends… I've grown up really close to so many of them and I'd be genuinely gutted not to have them there to celebrate with us, too.
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Children are another consideration. We could keep numbers down by not inviting kids, but with Andrew's two joining us it seems cruel to enforce this rule on others.
No matter how we try to look at it, it just seems like a never-ending spree of heart wrenching decisions… How could we ever pick?
To avoid all these nightmarish dilemmas we've decided to postpone writing the guest list until January. By that point people may well be busy and won't be able to attend! It will give us time to reassess what rules and regulations we will put in place.
Andrew is confident that people will understand our space constraints, and I'm hoping that come January I will share his optimism.