Tips for Navigating Losing Your Virginity on Your Wedding Night

First things first: Happy wedding day! You've probably been looking forward to this day for ages (for so many reasons), and if you plan on losing your virginity on your wedding night, we are here for you. Losing your virginity is a special and unique experience no matter the circumstances; it can be unusual, a little awkward, and sometimes anxiety-inducing. But when you take your first time slowly and listen to your body, it can also be really beautiful and memorable. There’s nothing to worry about. Everyone has to have a first time, after all! And doing it with the love of your life on the night of your wedding makes it that much more special.

Here is what to do to make sure your intimate wedding night is a tender, loving, pleasurable experience.

Do Your Research

Now, they say nothing beats the real thing, and that is true. The only way to get comfortable with sex and to really love it is to get it on. But, knowing everything there is to know without actually doing it is also important. You are not going to magically know how to do sex stuff—no one does. It’s not a reflex and it doesn’t come naturally. Read everything you can find on sex from reliable sources and learn about your anatomy. It might feel silly, but the only way to figure out how to do something is by researching it (which can involve talking to a family member, friend, doctor, or even mental health professional) and then doing it.

Get to Know Your Body

Whatever your thoughts or beliefs on masturbation might be, it is very healthy. It helps you get to know your body and figure out what you like. This is important information to have in your back pocket when you embark on IRL sex. If you’re worried about that old myth that masturbation makes you want less sex, don’t be. It’s not true. Masturbation has actually been shown to make you want sex more.

Don’t Rush

In that same vein, you need to focus on foreplay on your wedding night. A big mistake many of us have made our first time is rushing to the “big finish.” We know it feels like you’ve been waiting forever, but now is not the time to get hasty. Listen to what your body is telling you. Your partner, if they're also new to the experience, is going to need to slow down as well. Take time to kiss and touch each other’s bodies. Try oral sex before you have penetrative sex, for example. This might be scary, but it’s worth it. If you rush into things, it could be painful—you want to be primed up and set to go.

Considering Using Lube

No matter how excited you are, the nerves of the first time will probably inhibit your ability to be fully ready for penetration. Lube is a healthy tool and can be a staple of anyone's sex routine.

Choose a Simple, Comfortable Position

This is your first time having penetrative sex and it's likely not going to be the most incredible feeling you’ve ever known. For example, vaginal orgasm happens for very few women and it takes patience and a lot of experience. It often feels like physical pressure the first time and it might even hurt a little. Go slowly; don’t stress out. It’s new terrain, we've all been there. You will likely want to stick to one sex position. Obviously, you can change it up later, but for the first time, you just want to see how everything feels. Go for a position that is comfortable for you. When in doubt, missionary or spooning is your safe bet.

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Waiting for your wedding night can set you up to fail. Not to sound completely unromantic, but when you’ve cooked up a fantasy in your mind, the real thing can be a letdown. Just remember that this is real life. Going in, expecting to have multiple orgasms from penetration, and to somehow be a wanton sex goddess without any prior knowledge to draw from isn’t particularly likely. It will probably be awkward and a little weird. Everyone feels strange the first time, don’t worry.

The Bottom Line

Your first time can be a magical experience (especially if you follow our tips above). You want it to be good, your partner wants it to be good, and we want it to be good for you. Just remind yourself (and your partner) that this is the first time of many. You two love each other. Trust us when we say, there will be plenty of time to practice.