How to Plan an Unforgettable Elopement

Does the idea of a big wedding sound unappealing? Perhaps you and your love are the super spontaneous types always looking for an unconventional adventure. Or, maybe you're trying to save money for a new house or future expenses. If you resonate with any of these situations, chances are you and your partner have considered ditching tradition in favor of a swift elopement.

While every elopement is different, in general, those who elope get married without the knowledge of their family and friends, particularly their parents. It allows them the freedom to celebrate their love without the stressors of planning a reception or celebration. According to Jennifer Allen, founder and CEO of Just Elope, "the choice to elope reflects a couple's desire for an intimate, intentional wedding experience—one that allows them to truly savor the beginning of their lives together."

That said, choosing to elope requires a few considerations, so we tapped several experts to help you and your partner decide whether it's the right decision. Ahead, here's a step-by-step guide to eloping, plus planning tips for getting hitched on the sly and dos and don'ts to consider.

The Pros and Cons of Eloping

There are pros and cons to consider when deciding whether an elopement is the right choice for you. "The first and perhaps most compelling pro is the ability to curate an exceptionally intentional wedding day," shares Allen. "Without the demands of a large guest list, the pace of the celebration is entirely in the couple's control. This allows them to be fully present, savoring each meaningful moment without feeling rushed or pulled in multiple directions."

The micro-wedding expert also shares that elopements are a cost-effective option for couples on a budget. "Large, traditional weddings often require couples to prioritize the overall guest experience over their personal preferences," she explains. "In contrast, eloping empowers couples to allocate their resources precisely as they desire—whether that means investing in a luxurious honeymoon, purchasing a first home, or starting a family."

The cons? "Some couples may initially feel a twinge of regret, seeing the grand, fairy-tale weddings of others on social media," notes Allen. She also highlights that many couples may face some backlash post-nuptials, as friends and family might be upset by their decision to get married without anyone present. "However, in our experience, the overwhelming joy and sense of connection experienced on the day itself quickly overshadows any fleeting doubts," Allen adds. "With a united front, couples can navigate this path with confidence, secure in the knowledge that they have chosen the most authentic and meaningful way to celebrate their love."

How to Plan Your Dream Elopement

Does eloping seem like the right decision for you and your partner? If so, follow the below steps to plan your dream elopement.

Determine a Budget

While elopements tend to be easier on the wallet than a big wedding, they aren't without their costs, so sit down with your partner and start talking numbers. How much of your savings or disposable income are you willing to allocate to this? Be realistic about your expectations and your funds, and don't forget to factor in a little wiggle room for unexpected costs. Your budget will guide the rest of the process and help you navigate any difficult decisions with its firm bottom line.

Another budgeting tip? If you're okay with letting your parents in on your plans, invite them to your elopement and ask if they're willing to contribute to your micro ceremony, especially if you and your partner have any financial concerns. "Inviting your parents to your elopement, if you're not set on it just being the two of you, is another way to involve them and lessen bruised emotions," adds wedding planner Lindsey Nickel, founder of Lovely Day Events.

Choose the Location

Today, courthouse elopements are very popular, with many eager partners choosing the straightforward option of obtaining a marriage license and getting married in the same vicinity. This choice is also relatively cheap, though it doesn't entirely lend itself to spontaneity as an appointment is usually required.

With that in mind, adventurous or jet-set couples may favor the destination elopement alternative. Perhaps there's a place that played a significant role in your relationship or holds special meaning for one of you. Or, maybe the visual appeal of a location just feels right for the occasion. Let these preferences guide you, keeping your budget in mind.

"When thinking about elopement, consider a place that will have significance for you both," shares Britt Cole and Francie Dorman, co-founders of Mavinhouse Events. "Consider Venetsanos Winery in Santorini Island, Greece; the Sanará in Tulum, Mexico; or the Round Hill in Jamaica." In general, destination elopements can be as extravagant as a far-flung getaway or as close to home as you'd like.

Check the Law

Regardless of the locale, the marriage needs to be legally recognized—unless you prefer a spiritual union. This means you should research the various legal requirements, location permissions, or guidelines of the state you plan to get hitched in, especially if you're planning a cross-country elopement.

Do you need a license? How long will it take? Are witnesses required and what are their necessary credentials? These are the questions you should be asking if you want the elopement to go off without a hitch. The planners at Mavinhouse Events also recommend "possibly booking an officiant, unless a friend is ordained and can marry you (doesn't apply at the courthouse), check to see if you need a witness, and consider any waiting periods to obtain your marriage license."

Thinking of running away to Europe to elope? Don't forget to swing by your local city hall first. "Make sure you check off everything on the legal to-do list," Nickel says. "Remember, you still need an officiant and a witness to be legally married in the U.S. and many countries have different residency requirements in order to be married there (officially), so don't forget to get your marriage certificate at home before you jet off."

Book Your Travel Early

If you're eloping in a location that's not your hometown, ensure that you book your travel early to save money and relieve stress. While the destination of your elopement doesn't have to be an exotic faraway locale, it is something to keep in mind no matter where you plan to say "I do."

Find Local Vendors

Just because you're having an intimate wedding doesn't mean you're completely on your own. "While many elopements, by nature, tend to be last-minute decisions, I highly advise couples not just to wing it. Hiring a local wedding planner can take a lot of stress off the couple," Nickel explains. "Plus, a planner can suggest really special or under-the-radar places that you might not already know. Also, make sure you hire both a photographer and a videographer to document your day. This is especially important for elopements because it allows you to share the moment with friends and family who could not be there."

Due to the smaller scale and shorter time commitments, most vendors will offer special rates or à la carte pricing for elopements, Nickel adds. "Especially if you're getting married on an off-day—say a Tuesday at 11 a.m.—don't be afraid to negotiate." Oftentimes, you can also find bargain deals simply by failing to mention you're a bride or groom. Say the word "wedding" and many vendors reckon they can jack up the price for their services. So instead of requesting a "wedding" look, you may be able to save money by asking for a "special occasion" hairdo.

Choose Guests or Witnesses

Guests at an elopement? You bet! Whether your state requires witnesses or you just want a few close friends or family members to be part of the moment, you can definitely still bring some people along and call it an elopement. The rule of thumb is to keep the count under a dozen, however. Of course, if you’re inviting guests, you’ll want to make more formal plans and can’t simply pop into the courthouse on a whim.

Plan the Ceremony

What will you wear? Are rings your thing? How should the exchanging of vows go? Do you want a bouquet? While you may not be walking down the aisle, per se, you'll still want your highly anticipated elopement moment to be special. "Don't forget to indulge in the bridal aspects of your day," Nickel says. "Get a special dress and a bouquet and perhaps even set up a table, complete with your dream centerpiece, a bottle of champagne, and dinner for two."

The experts at Mavinhouse Events also add, "Elopements are a great opportunity to steer away from tradition and pick an outfit that may be more streetwear chic. Consider tea-length dresses rather than long gowns, bold colors, or patterns rather than white. Or, a bird's cage veil rather than a long and flowy one, menswear suiting instead of a dress...the options are limitless."

What to Do After Your Elopement

Your elopement journey isn't over once you and your partner have said "I do." Here, we break down the top etiquette rules to follow after you've officially tied the knot.

Be Prepared for Family and Friends' Reactions

The most difficult part of eloping is the fear that your friends and family will be disappointed they were not a part of your big day. "Know that not everyone is going to support your decision, and be prepared for their reactions," Nickel says. "I recommend telling your parents before you elope to minimize hurt feelings and surprises after the fact. And try to find a way to involve your closest friends and family somehow—whether that's sharing photos with them first or maybe hosting a post-marriage reception. But, shocking your closest friends and family with a social media announcement is a huge no-no: Make sure to tell them in person and if anyone feels hurt or left out, a handwritten note can go a long way."

Send a Wedding Announcement

Once you're happily married, let the world know the big news. Submit a formal marriage announcement to the local paper and have cards printed with a photo and the good news to send to everyone. Mavinhouse Events shares, "Send an announcement after you've eloped to let friends and family know (you could send a picture of the two of you from your big day), plan a dinner party, and announce it to everyone there. If you have children, consider a thoughtful way to get them involved."

"A marriage announcement lets people know that you've already gotten hitched and it's the perfect opportunity to showcase some of those gorgeous intimate photos you captured on your special day," Nickel adds. Of course, there's always the chance your recipients will send back a reply in the form of presents.

Throw a Party

Mavinhouse Events suggests "renting out a private room in a restaurant" to celebrate your nuptials with close friends and family immediately after you say "I do." Alternatively, you can always postpone the celebration for a later date. "A one-year anniversary party is a great way to host an event that feels like a reception without so much of the pressure of hosting an entire wedding," they share. "If you've gone to a destination where your friends and family aren't close, treating yourself to a fancy dinner for just the two of you can be such a treat. So many top-rated restaurants offer a chef's table where you can have a multi-course menu with wine pairings prepared and served to you specially by the chef."