The Complete Guide to Ring Bearers

We're sharing everything you need to know about this important (and cute!) wedding party role.

ring bearer holding pillow

COURTESY OF MEGAN AND TIM STACK / Design by Michela Buttignol

Including little ones in your wedding is absolutely aww-inducing, but it also requires some extra consideration. Even if you’ve decided on a kid-free guest list for your ceremony and reception, there's one tiny tot who just might make the cut (at least for the first part of the celebration, anyway): your ring bearer. A ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. One of the youngest members of the wedding party, the ring bearer is usually between 3 and 8 years old.

Ahead, we break down the ring bearer's duties, what they wear, and how to choose them.

What Does a Ring Bearer Do?

Ring bearers, unlike witnesses or a certified officiant, are not actually necessary to get you formally hitched. However, they do have one very important responsibility: delivering the rings. If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on his own, he should head down the aisle after the wedding party and deliver the rings to the best man or wedding officiant. Not quite mobile? If mom or dad are in the wedding party, they can carry their kiddo during the processional, or you could have the flower girls escort him. It is also popular for someone to pull the ring bearer in a wagon or small car.

Does a Ring Bearer Have to Carry the Rings?

As a precaution, most couples choose to have the best man carry the rings on him. Especially if your ring bearer is only a few months old or still young enough and might put things in their mouth, it's best to just have them hold an empty pillow or a decorative sign. There is also the option of tying plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow for the full effect.

How to Choose Your Ring Bearer

Most often, ring bearers are children of those close to the couple. They might be the kids of the maid of honor or best man, the couple’s nephews, or the children of other friends or family members. If the couple themselves have children, it is a sweet way to include them in the wedding as a family (and the photos will last a lifetime). But if the couple just want to be newlyweds for the night, they will have to arrange for childcare ahead of time.

What Does the Ring Bearer Wear?

When you’re deciding how your bridesmaids and groomsmen will be dressed on your wedding day, keep an eye out for coordinating attire for your youngest attendants as well. For the ring bearer, keep the formality of your wedding in mind. Tiny tuxes are so cute, as are little suits or khakis with bowties and suspenders.

Talk to their parents about whether they’d like you to give them guidance, or if they’d prefer that you pick exactly what you want their kids' outfits to be.

As with your wedding party, the ring bearer (well...their parents) pay for their own attire. A ring bearer gift is a thoughtful gesture, so you can also opt to purchase the outfit or pick out an accessory that could become a cherished memento.

Are Ring Bearers Invited to the Reception?

This is the most important question and one you should answer before you invite any kids to participate. If you’re having other kids at your wedding, then yes, the ring bearer gets an invite. Seat them with their parents, or arrange for a kids table with a babysitter, kid-friendly food, and fun activities. If your reception is adults-only, work with the parents of the tots in question to help them find a local babysitter (and consider covering the cost yourself) and a spot to watch the kids, whether it’s in their parent's hotel room or in a nearby room at the venue.

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